


Part of Me

by imagine0314



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Mother-Daughter Relationship, One Shot, Other, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-27 10:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18193457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagine0314/pseuds/imagine0314
Summary: Canon-divergent and set about a year after the events of Horizon: Zero Dawn.------Despite a year of working and living side by side, Aloy had always kept some small distance from Elisabet. Something quiet, hidden. Something almost imperceptible. Elisabet had her suspicions, but kept them to herself. What good would it do to brute force things?But Elisabet had never been one to let a problem go unsolved.





	Part of Me

**Author's Note:**

> Just wanted to a write a small one-shot about a concept I had, so I'm going to lay out the setting and exposition in the notes. 
> 
> _At the end of the events of the HZD, Aloy traveled to Nevada to seek out the remains of Dr. Elisabet Sobeck, her progenitor. She found the old environmental suit in surprisingly good condition, but never expected the emergency protocols that GAIA had quietly updated. Cryonics had always been a touchy technology, but why not give it a try at the end of the world? It had seemed an entertaining enough side project for 10,000 of her processes._
> 
> _GAIA hadn't expected anyone would ever need another suit after they were all sealed in the Prime bunker, but things hadn't gone as planned. Elisabet left the bunker to engage the manual seal on the door, effectively saving the world. GAIA, still in relative infancy, believed all was lost--not knowing if the cryonics in the suit would even make a difference. After leaving the facility, Dr. Sobeck made her slow death march back home. When Elisabet sat down on the bench at the Sobeck ranch, tired and exhausted, she accepted the end._
> 
> _The suit did not._
> 
> _Flash frozen, heart stilled, Elisabet laid preserved for nearly 1,000 years, unknown to anyone--GAIA included--after her signal had been lost. When Aloy touched the chest pad, it didn't read alive or dead, simply "stasis." Not knowing any other technology advanced enough, she transported the suit back to CYAN, who assisted her in reviving Elisabet._
> 
> _The two had spent the last year working alongside CYAN to slowly begin the process of rebuilding GAIA, taking help from any tribe or friend who was open-minded enough to assist. It had taken Elisabet months to acclimate, still shocked that she was even breathing. Aloy had filled her in on the details, even revealing her own creation as a clone. The two grew close, but there was always some distance Elisabet couldn't work out._
> 
> _One day in April, Aloy's birthday to be exact, it all came to the surface._
> 
> Fun fact: I share a birthday with Aloy. 04/04. And since I'm getting all existential about turning thirty, well, this is what came of it.

Aloy had set out before the sun, which wasn't unusual. 

"Kid's got so much damn energy," Elisabet muttered to herself, groaning out of her cot. "Just wait until you get old, like me."

She stood and stretched. It wasn't the worst bed she'd ever slept in, not like those dorm-issue mattresses at Carnegie-Mellon during her first year, before she'd gotten her own place. Still, it was harder on her than the microfoam bunks she'd last remembered.

The ones at Zero Dawn.

She shook her head, trying not to think about the disparity her body and mind felt. Knowing how long she'd been gone, but also feeling like it was just last year. Her knees popped quietly while she slid on some fur-lined moccasins Aloy had made for her a few months ago. She might have been a little stiff, but overall she felt refreshed, hopeful. 

It felt like not so long ago, all this had been nothing but ash.

She glanced into the polished circle of glass that served as a mirror, hanging above the rudimentary nightstand.

"Not bad for a thousand-year-old gal," she noted.

The cabin was large, warm with smoothed wood, rugs adorning the floor. The fire had cooled to a low crackle and Elisabet proceeded to throw another log on and stoke the flames, slowly getting dressed for the day. She felt lucky their accommodations were so grand; it seemed the Nora felt so indebted to "the Anointed" that the girl could pretty much get whatever she needed, including a multi-room home. 

Elisabet's clothes weren't typical Nora--Teb had agreed to custom make a few pieces reminiscent of the tunics and pants she used to wear. They were maybe a little heavier, a little less elegant, but they were damn sure to be stronger and more durable than anything she'd bought off an online retailer in the 2060s. She took her time, letting her fingers linger over the wood grain of the table, the bone of the wide-toothed comb, the leather of the small necklace she wore. 

She wondered if she'd ever get used to that. Knowing that these things came from the earth. Knowing she'd been successful. Knowing that everyone she'd ever known had died. That she'd died.

Well, kinda.

Shaking off the creeping dread of memory kept her in forward momentum. Elisabet let the fire burn down, putting it out mindfully before throwing on a large shawl and cracking open the door. She shivered a little, rubbing her arms. Her Focus told her it was early April, but this new biosphere was still so different from what she'd known. Climates and weather patterns changed quickly, occasionally bearing little resemblance to the Colorado she'd once known. 

_"But hey, you can't really complain, now can you, Lis?"_ she thought to herself.

It's not like an AI had ever created a planet from scratch before. GAIA had done all the heavy lifting and it had allowed life not only to survive, but to thrive. She couldn't have asked for more.

The redhead crunched through the scattered snow, walking the now-familiar trail toward Mother's Heart. She drew her shawl in close, grateful that Aloy had suggested they spend the winter months back in the Embrace instead of braving it in the Cut. CYAN was capable of working on parts fabrication for GAIA's rebuild just fine on its own but Elisabet suspected that Aloy had really done it for her benefit. She knew the girl's relationship with her tribe was painful to her at best. Still, she was grateful that the younger woman had taken pity on her endurance and they had returned to the more tolerable climes. Though nearly genetically identical, Elisabet swore the girl was made of heartier stuff than she ever had been.

Elisabet took in the sun on her skin, now rising higher and higher over the pink tinted mountain peaks. 

She'd never take it for granted again.

\------

The woman out of time had arrived in Mother's Heart, but Aloy was still nowhere to be seen. 

Strange. She'd usually be back by now with whatever she'd gathered early--usually breakfast or other sundries from hunting or trading in the dawn hours. Where could she be?

The redhead was still learning some of the tribe's names and roles; she scanned the village looking for a familiar face.

"Ah, Varl!" she called, gesturing to the young man. She liked him--she knew good people when she saw them.

"Doctor Sobeck," he greeted.

"No need for formalities, Varl, I've told you. You can just call me Elisabet."

He bowed his head slightly, chewing his lip. "But...you are the honored guest of the Anointed. You deserve respect."

Elisabet chuckled. Kid was charming in his own way. "We're friends, Varl. 'Elisabet' will do just fine."

He smiled and swept a hanging dread out of his face. "Elisabet."

"Have you seen Aloy this morning? I haven't heard from her since we tucked in for the night."

"I'm not surprised," Varl noted, shrugging.

"You're not?"

"I'd imagine this is a tough day for her," he said, quieter. He guided Elisabet away from the crowded village center, not wanting the others to overhear him.

"What's so different about today?" Elisabet asked, realizing now that she was getting worried. Had she missed something? She was really starting to get close with the girl, but she knew there had always been _something_ between them. Some gap. Something held at bay. Maybe whatever it was, Aloy felt she couldn't share it with her.

"It's her birthday," Varl said.

"And what? She's suddenly worried about aging at twenty?"

Varl laughed a little, but there was a sadness tinging the tone. "You misunderstand. When a birthday is celebrated by the Nora, we honor our mothers--living or dead. But Aloy--"

"--Aloy doesn't have one," Elisabet finished.

Varl nodded. "She is of the mountain. Of All-Mother. It is the reason she was cast out. Some of the Matriarchs thought her an abomination. Unnatural." 

Elisabet shook her head, the realization suddenly hitting her like a ton of bricks. Her stomach sank. She considered how hard Aloy's life must have been. The girl had alluded to it, certainly, but she could tell it was a sore spot for her and had never wanted to pry. 

"So because she was born in a Cradle facility using a gestation tank--" 

"--Please," Varl interrupted. "What All-Mother contains is not for me to know. The Goddess chose to reveal herself to Aloy and Aloy alone. I trust her and we as a tribe have asked her forgiveness for our transgressions against her. What we did...was awful. Was against the Goddess' will."

"Shit, so she spent her whole life getting punished for her existence? That's gotta mess with a person," Elisabet said.

"The Anointed's scars are not only from battle," Varl admitted. "Some we gave her ourselves."

Elisabet sighed. "Well when she turns up, send her my way. I worry about her. She's taken so much on, the weight of the world on her shoulders. I wish she'd let me be there for her."

Varl smiled in spite of himself. "You know, you sound like--"

"--Like what?"

"Like family."

\------

Elisabet spent part of the afternoon working on the salvaged motherboard she and Aloy had dragged back from the GAIA Prime facility. It was damaged and needed a lot of work, but she was convinced that she'd slowly be able to begin the process of piecing together whatever remained of the AI and reprogram the rest herself.

Sure would have been easier if she could have gotten a damn cup of coffee. Fucking Ted. If he hadn't lost his shit in the end, these people would have had the benefit of society and technology nearly on par with what they'd had before, instead of tribal civilizations and not a convenience in sight. Still though, she was impressed with how far they'd come on their own. When your ancestors get released into the wild with only a kindergarten-level education, you had to get by with what you could, she supposed.

She tapped her foot nervously, counting the hours Aloy had been missing. Would she even bother returning today? Or was it too painful to face?

Was _she_ too painful to face? 

Shit. Was that it? Elisabet was fond of the girl, maybe more than she let on. Just because you have a clone, it didn't entitle you to a relationship, right? To being family. But...was that something Aloy wanted? Something Aloy needed? It had certainly been something the older woman had considered. Maybe she could even admit to wanting it herself. 

Elisabet sat the electronics down, musing to herself, wanting more than anything to reassure the girl, to help soothe her painful past. She knew all too well what it was like to be ostracized at a young age. Getting into college at thirteen had a way of doing that to a kid.

She looked wistfully out along the expanse before the cabin, wishing she could catch sight of that lively red mane, now worried that something had happened. How many times had she done this to her own mother, straying out to the edges of the ranch's property line? How many nights had she kept her waiting at the porch just because she wanted to be alone with the constellations? Had her mother assumed the worst, like she was doing now?

As the hours wore on, the redhead found herself desperately wanting to strike out on her own in search of the girl. But she knew, deep down, that she wasn't yet familiar enough with these lands to navigate without Aloy's help. Her tinkering with the motherboard had long since ended. She couldn't concentrate. Couldn't keep her mind on it. 

She couldn't sit still any longer, instead opting to gather some of the ingredients from the cupboard and nearby root cellar. She had to keep herself busy, had to do _something_. She opted to make dinner. It was what her mom had always done when she'd come back from a long trip--some hike or a break between semesters. Hell, even when she'd had a shitty week at FAS and flew back home for a weekend. Mom was always waiting there with her favorites, welcoming her back with comfort...and then a little hard work on the ranch.

Elisabet smirked sadly.

Damn she missed that woman.

\------

Dusk was just settling in, bringing back the same chill the morning had had. Elisabet had the fire roaring as a kettle of food bubbled over it. It might not have been Michelin star worthy, but she thought it smelled pretty good. She nervously bit at her fingers. 

Where was Aloy?

The door creaked open quietly, in an almost resigned fashion. Elisabet had never known Aloy to be resigned about _anything_. Ever. Today must have really gotten to her. 

"Hey," Elisabet greeted with a quiet smile. "You were gone all day."

Aloy's eyes stayed down. "Yeah."

"I uh...I heard it was your birthday. Thought the least I could do was make you dinner."

Aloy's head snapped up. "Who told you it was my birthday?" she asked, a hint of anger in her voice.

"Varl. But please don't be angry with him. I was worried about you. I asked him if he knew anything."

"It was not his to tell," Aloy retorted venomously. "It's just...I've always hated it. Rost used to take me out the day of. Keep me distracted. It was better than spending the day wondering when or if my mother would ever return."

"I just wish you would have told me," Elisabet said. "I was afraid something had happened."

"I can handle myself," Aloy said, jaw clenched. She looked at her older mirror image, her anger breaking as her eyes became glassy. "You uh....you made me dinner?"

"Least I could do," Elisabet said happily. "My mom always did it for me when I was having a rough time."

That was all it took.

Aloy's face betrayed her, lip quivering. She'd never admitted to Elisabet that the whole time she had searched for her, the whole time she had learned of her identity--that secretly she had hoped, had prayed that she was...no. No. She was only a copy. Not a daughter.

"Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but it's okay. You don't have to pity me," Aloy said, sitting on the cushions next to Elisabet. 

The older woman's breath hitched. Had she made the wrong move? Did Aloy even understand how she felt? How she wished more than anything to keep her safe? It was inexplicable, instantaneous, but it had been there under the surface for long enough. 

"I was just--" Elisabet began.

"I don't have a mother," Aloy interrupted. "And I can't ask you to be one. When I was looking for you, maybe I thought...I hoped...but I heard the recording of you and GAIA. You never even wanted a child. So I kept my distance. I had to. I couldn't force you to be what you weren't."

Elisabet looked hurt, brow furrowing, suddenly indignant. "Never wanted? If you listened then you know I said I never made the time. And when was I supposed to?" she asked, voice raised.

A tear spilled down Aloy's cheek. She hadn't meant to stoke the older woman's temper, but everything was bubbling to the surface so fast, she couldn't control it.

"Was I supposed to bring some kid into the world during cascading ecological collapse?" Elisabet asked. "Or how about the during the _literal_ end of the world a few years later?" Her tone softened. "Aloy...what I might have wanted...was put aside. I spent more or less the last half of my life trying to save the world from one crisis or another. I didn't want to condemn any child to an early death just for my own selfishness."

Aloy grimaced, hot tears now sliding freely down her cheeks. She'd been so childish. So naive.

Elisabet tilted Aloy's chin up gently with her hand. "But you know what? I knew the moment I woke up and saw you, beyond the uncanny--impossible--resemblance, that you were mine. You were family. It's just...something you feel."

Elisabet reached for Aloy's hand slowly, afraid she might ruin everything. Afraid the girl might jerk away. Afraid she might lose her own nerve.

The girl shook her head, eyes red. "But I wasn't intended. I was just a tool. Made to accomplish a task, that's all."

Elisabet frowned. How could this girl--woman--in all her strength and capability, think so little of herself? 

"I was cast out for how I was born, shunned for being birthed by the mountain. For coming from a machine," she justified. As if she were undeserving. As if it changed anything.

"Aloy, I'm...I'm sorry. I wish your life hadn't been so hard. So cruel," Elisabet said, her voice nearly a whisper.

She reached up to run her thumb over the younger woman's cheek, brushing away another hot tear. Before the girl could resist, Elisabet wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. Aloy gave up all semblance of control, chest heaving with sobs so heavy they were nearly silent. Suddenly, she was a child again. Angry and desolate, inconsolable.

"Shh," Elisabet soothed. "It's okay. It's okay," she said, smoothing the girl's hair. "I've got you."

The pair stayed like that for some time, neither wanting to break the spell of the moment. 

"You might have been conceived by something mechanical, but that...that isn't where you come from. What you're made of. You're not a tool, Aloy," she said, pulling the girl to her chest. 

Aloy didn't resist, she couldn't. It was all too much to bear, everything she had ever wanted. Did Elisabet really consider her... _hers_? She listened to the steady beat beneath her ear, felt the pounding behind the ribs. It sounded the same--felt the same--as her own.

"You hear that?" Elisabet whispered. "Just like yours. Well, give or take twenty-five years," she chuckled. "That's where you come from."

The girl didn't move, entranced by the rhythm she knew all too well, comforting an ache she didn't realize she'd carried.

"I'm sorry that you had to grow alone in a vat instead instead of someone who wanted you. Instead of someone who expected you. Instead of someone who could be there for you. Instead of me."

Aloy pulled her arms around the older woman, holding on as if for dear life. As if letting her go would turn the last year into a dream, into smoke--ripping the tangibility of all she'd ever hoped for away from her.

"Do you mean it?" she asked.

"Kiddo, if you listened to that recording between me and GAIA then you know you're everything I ever wanted in a _daughter_. You're more. And I know you're smart enough to have already realized that," she said, voice cracking.

Elisabet's shirt was damp with tears while she wiped at her own.

"Damn, we Sobeck women really are repressed messes, aren't we?" she joked. "Mom always said if I kept everything so bottled up, I was gonna lose it one day."

Aloy laughed gently, refusing to move and put any distance between them. "I wish I could have met her."

"Me too, kid. She would have loved to be your grandmother." 

"I'm...I'm sorry I made you worry today, Elisabet."

"I think worrying is the default state as a parent," the older woman said. 

"A...parent?"

Elisabet carded her fingers through Aloy's hair, swallowing thickly before she could get the words out. "You can call me 'Mom' if you like. If that's what you want," she stammered. "Shit, I'm really bad at this."

"No, you're perfect," the girl insisted. She was. This was. If only Rost could see her now.

Aloy sat up, straightening her tunic and attempting to regain some sort of composure. 

Elisabet wiped the last of her own tears, clearing her throat. "Well, every good girls' night cry sesh ends with eating your feelings, so what do you say we actually have some food?" 

Aloy smiled, maybe for the first time without the sadness at the edges. 

"I'd like that," she admitted.

"Happy birthday, Aloy."

"Thanks...Mom."

Yes. 

Mom.

That sounded _right_.


End file.
